i just keep thinking about this past weekend i spent with cube. i havent felt that good in a long time. he is always very sweet to me and i think he's the greatest guy in the whole world. he always puts me at the top of his list. he genuinely cares about me and how i feel and what i do... even if i dont always think he does. but this weekend was just great. a few times i remember wanting to cry just because of the way he looked at me, or the way he touched me, or the way he kissed me. he was just so full of love and it just brimmed over into me.

its moments like those that make me really wish i could spend every day with him. it's going to be a long time until that happens. i know that. and it hurts. but he's SO worth the wait. i mean, sure, no one's perfect, but i think that he's damn close. and i guess that we're going through rough times now while we're young (having to be constantly apart) so that we can be happy together and cherish each moment later. so we wont take each other for granted. i just wish it could be the slightest bit easier now. *sigh* - it's so hard. i hate that we can be in the same city and see each other probably less than if we were in separate states. its sad. but i deal i guess.

i just keep thinking to the weekend, and so many weekends before this one. how he treats me like i'm a goddess to him. how he's so tender with me. the way he talks to me, how he finds me sexy. the way he gets aroused when i so much as brush past him. how he never wants to let me get too far away from him physically when we do anything together - walking, eating, talking, anything. when he kisses me in the middle of my sentences, or when i'm trying to talk and he kisses me after every word i say.

i love how he is gentle with me, but at the same time, rough. he likes to bite me and spank me and i like it. but he's so cute with it. like one time he smacked my ass really hard and it almost brought tears to my eyes, i was shocked - and so then he held me close and said he was sorry and that he loved me and he covered me with kisses. he's so good to me. and how he seems to always want me to be happy with everything we do. i'm always happy with him, but he always checks to make sure. he's the best guy i've ever known. no other guy i've met comes half as close to him.

*sigh* i think that's a sufficient amount of mush for this entry =)