bad brew
Thursday, Sept. 11, 2003 - 9:40 pm

random thought: i will remember you... dont let your life pass you by.


well, it's 9/11 once again. i didn't get to watch any tv today to see if anything was on the news or something, but i'm sure stuff was on. no one i know really talked about it. but, i'll just say "i remember" and leave it at that.

so i'm still confused about the whole meds issue. i tried talking to cube about it, but he's being real evasive about the subject. i know he doesn't like situations that involve me where he feels like he's losing control, but really, there's nothing he can do about my gene pool. there's nothing i can do either. i just have to suck it up and deal. i dont know, i think i'm going to talk to davis about it and tell him i'm open to talking with a psychiatrist (they're the one's that prescribe the meds, right?). i mean, the doctor will know if i need it or not, or if it will help or whatever. and i'll tell him about my fears of personality and stuff. and maybe he'll tell me that i dont need meds and that after i get out of school i'll be a much happier person. who knows. maybe i just need to get my life settled... get a good job, a good place to live, settle in with cube, get everything straightened out. who knows. i certainly dont. i dont know what "normal" people worry about and stress about and obsess about versus what i worry or stress or obsess about versus what a depressed person worries, stresses or obsesses about and where i fit into that spectrum between "normal" and manic depressive. i'm certainly not all the way at the manic depressive end. but who knows where i am.

oh well... i think that's enough worry for one entry. blah. thank goodness i'm going to talk to davis on monday. sitting around with this brewing in my mind is not the way i want to spend a whole week.