this is the hardest thing i've been through in my relationship. i dont know where to turn. i dont know what to do. i can't stop thinking about him kissing someone else. every time i think of him, i think of it. and my mind then carries it on to become something it's not, something that didn't happen, but that my mind thinks could happen. deep down i know it's shit. but how do i find a happy ending in this? how do i pull out my deepest feelings of trust when my present mind keeps stabbing them every time i try? i feel like i've been stabbed. a direct hit to my heart. not my real heart, but the heart where all my emotions lie. the love of my life took my heart and stabbed it. so am i slowing bleeding to death? or is it a shallow wound that will heal? i can't see it, so i dont know. any wound feels like a fatal wound. i can't tell the severity. i'll have to wait it out. see if i die. see if i was murdered.