it's my birthday and i'll drink if i want to!
Saturday, Jul. 12, 2003 - 11:38 pm

so, i have less than a half hour to go before i turn 21. this is quite uncerimonious. i always dreamed i would be banging on a bar door the moment the clock struck midnight, ordering my first drink moments later. here i am sitting in my room. quite far from the bar door and not ordering anything to drink. in fact, i'm drinking water, the antithesis of alcohol. the liquid used to squelch drunkenness from weary bodies. had i been in carlisle at this very moment, i no doubt would be surrounded by college friends willing to take me out for a night of bar hopping. i was invited out there. but i made family plans. *sigh* now, this isnt to say i'm dying to taste what alcohol tastes like. i've had it before, illegally, obviously. but i've never experienced the cocktails that one can only get from the bars. altho now that i own the cocktail bible, perhaps the bar will emerge in my kitchen.

in the morning, i'm meeting my mom, godmother, her sister and jerk. we're going to 'Top of the Mast' for a (hopefully) good sunday brunch. and then who knows. i told jerk i'm going shopping so i dont have to look at his face for longer than brunch. its bad enough i have to eat with him, i dont need to spend time with him. it's my birthday, i should have been able to say i didnt want him there. however, i need his money for my college education and therefore, i cannot kick him out of my life completely.